Theoryland Chronicles

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Rand:

I'm Rand Al Thor, yes, Rand I am,
Son of Kari, son of Tam,
I never asked to be the heir
Of Lews the madman, how unfair!

Bashere:

I hate to interrupt, my Lord,
But have you got your magic sword?
Though we're ahead, it's not enough -
Those Seanchan warriors are tough.
It's wise to quit while we're ahead,
Who'll face the Dark One if you're dead?

Rand:

It isn't over, not by far,
We'll drive them back past Ebou Dar.
Just hold on tight, do what you can,
The rest - leave to the Asha'man.
We've captured most of the Damane -
(The taint grows worse - am I insane?)

Bashere:

My Lord? You spoke? You look unsteady -

Rand:

Just go and get your soldiers ready!


Elaida:

Those Asha'man are such a threat,
We haven't tamed the Dragon yet,
Things are rotten in the Tower
I'm Amyrlin, without the power!

Alviarin:

Oh calm yourself, Elaida child,
Your rantings are becoming wild.
(aside) (My master's got a plan for Rand -
The day of triumph is at hand!)
(aloud) I'll sort things out,, you wait and see.
So who's the boss? Not you, but me!


Elayne:

We have the bowl, so what's the harm?
Let's try it out on yonder farm!

Windfinders:

The Bowl is our, so don't forget,
You have to teach us magic yet!

Kin:

They're Aes Sedai, so show respect!

Elayne:

Let's all calm down - be circumspect.
We're all at odds 'cos we're afraid,
Nynaeve, stop tugging on your braid!


Egwene:

I'm Amyrlin Egwene Al Vere,
My situation's bleak, I fear.
The Sitters want to pull my strings -
I'll show those hags a couple of things!
I'm tired of acting meek. Soon all
Will learn who rules their silly Hall!

Siuan:

Don't be hasty, child, be wary;
Being stilled is pretty scary.

Egwene:

Your expertise is just what's needed.
(aside) (I'll do a better job than she did!)
(aloud) I need to change the track they're on
If we're to win at Tar Valon.
I'll have to make them all proclaim
That we're at war - yes, that's my game -
For when to war they all agree
They'll have to bide by my decree.
And on a tangent, Siuan my dear,
Your love for Bryne is pretty clear.
It's time you let him know you're fond
And end up with a Warder's Bond.

Siuan:

I could not ! Would not! Will not! Shan't!

Egwene:

I'll have to tell him if you can't!

Mat:

I thought I'd drop in for a look
(despite not being in this book.)
An introduction - no preamble -
I'm Matrim C., I love to gamble.
According to prophetic loons
I'll wed the Daughter of Nine Moons.
I've little faith in Tar Valon,
Whatever power trip they're on,
We'll show them all, me, Rand and Perrin
That we are Tai'shar Manatheren!

Part 2

Rand:

I'm Rand Al Thor, yes, Rand I am,
Son of Kari, Son of Tam,
Son of Janduin and Tigraine,
Shortly to become insane.
My mental problem's plain to see -
A crisis of identity.
I've left a trail of needless dead,
I'm hearing voices in my head;
Unless my powers save my bacon
I'll be destroyed by the Forsaken!


Cadsuane:

A moment, Sorilea dear -
We must discuss young Rand, I fear.

Sorilea:

He needs our help, that's pretty clear,
He's going mad, from what I hear!
I try to guide him, teach him well -

Cadsuane:

And does he listen?

Sorilea:

-does he hell!
The lad's as stubborn as a mule!

Cadsuane:

We'll have to teach the silly fool
That we old women know what's best,
We've seen it all and all the rest.

Sorilea:

He tries to be so hard and tough,
As if his job weren't hard enough!
He won't be able to maintain
His macho image, Cadsuane.

Cadsuane:

You're absolutely right! Let's vow
To solve the problem, starting now!
Let's make a pact before we sleep -
We'll teach him how to laugh and weep!


Logain:

Hurry up! Let's not delay,
Those Aes Sedai are on their way,
They think that they can rule us all
But that's just pride before the fall;
They'll never spot the ambush, no,
And that's the way it's meant to go.
We'll carry out our plan with ease -

Scout:

They're coming! Quick! Behind the trees!

Asha'man:

Hello there, Ladies, how d'you do?
We've got a nice surprise for you:
You're shielded one and all, you see,
So just surrender gracefully!

Toveine:

Guardsmen, fight them! Sisters, go!
They'll never hold the Shields you know.

Logain:

Not so fast, my dear, you're trapped;
Just one small kiss, then you'll be rapt.

Toveine:

Oh Light! What's that? What has he done?
He's bonded me - I cannot run!

Asha'man:

You've got another one? Logain!
M'Hael is going to go insane!

Logain (ASIDE):

He'd rather I were dead, I know,
One of us will have to go!


Bashere:

Enough, my Lord, the battle's won!
I'd hate to have to spoil your fun
But let's just quit now while we're winning -

Rand:

I'm not done yet, I'm just beginning.
We'll drive the Seanchan to the sea,
I'll not give up until they flee.
They'll learn they cannot conquer me -
I'll play my trump card - then they'll see!
This ought to quell the Seanchan horde:
Behold! The Sword that's Not a Sword!

Bashere:

It's Callandor! No need to fear!
I thought you'd left that sword in Tear.

Rand:

Narishma fetched it by request -

Narishma (SCOWLING):

despite your traps and all the rest.

Rand:

Oh, turn that sullen scowl to laughter -
You're the One who Follows After!

The End